Thursday, July 03, 2014

Thirteen Bracelets, Thirteen Quotes

I was skimming the updates this morning for Event No. 61, the $10,000 Seven-Card Stud Championship where just nine players remain for today’s final day.

Todd Brunson has a big chip lead, while 90-year-old Henry Orenstein -- the Poker Hall of Famer who patented the hole card camera that subsequently became so important to televised poker -- is also still in there with one of the shorter stacks. Brunson has one bracelet (in Omaha/8), while Orenstein also won a stud bracelet before back in 1996.

There are others left who should make today’s final table interesting to follow, including Ben Yu, James Obst, and Jesse Martin. But of course it’s Phil Hellmuth (pictured above via PokerNews) -- currently third in chips -- who’ll be the focus as long as he sticks around as to gun for his 14th career bracelet.

The updates from last night are kind of hilarious to read through, given Hellmuth’s constant commentary, as usual demonstrating that familiar mix of witless hubris and comical petulance the Poker Brat has by now honed into a kind of performance art.

For those who missed it, a sampling of Hellmuth’s late night stud table talk:

  • To the always well-attired Yu: “Why you so dressed up, kid?”

  • To chip leader Brunson: “The internet said you had over 700,000.”

  • To Brunson again: “I just hope when I have the ace burgers that you don’t get there with the king-jack-ten!”

  • To Obst, just before correctly identify his hand: “Give it up, kid”

  • To anyone who’ll listen: “Todd... he’s a genius. He just turns his hands into miracles!”

  • When having to fold a hand on third street: “F***!”

  • When that same hand ended with Obst showing a winner: “That’s legit.”

  • To the PokerNews reporters, in reference to himself: “No whining... it’s been six days! Six days! Report it!”

  • To Steve Landfish after folding to him on seventh: “You’re an interesting player.”

  • To Matt Grapenthien who’d forgotten to ante: “I see everything. Trust me, I see everything.”

  • To Yu after he mimicked Beth Shak’s infamous “I got ‘em” dance with aces: “Dang it, that’s just so good! You’re so clever.”

  • To Matt Grapenthien after he’d won a hand: “Buddy, you better not show up light again or they’ll barbecue you!”

  • After Brunson drew a flush to beat his straight: “I can’t f***ing believe it.”

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